Are you aware that 1 and 1 often makes 3?

We have each had this experience. We thought “x” about someone or a situation and learned later that our impression of them or the situation was inaccurate. It is human nature to be “meaning making machines”. We interpret someone else’s behavior or statements through our own “lens” of experience. With that “lens”, we project feelings and thoughts onto others. Oftentimes the interpretation and projections are inaccurate assessments of behavior or situations.

Why is this such a significant issue? Our lens and communications create and reinforce our realities aka our life, and also reinforce relationship harmony or disharmony. Our misperceptions and misinterpretations create our expectations. Those affect our interactions and personal and professional relationships with others.

For example, are you familiar with the phrase “I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant?”

We believe we understand communications. We interpret behavior through our “lens” and reinforce our image of who someone is, through that lens. How can someone’s authentic nature and intentions
be experienced if the “lens” is discolored by inaccurate interpretation? The mold needs to be broken. Authentic relationships occur because people can BE authentic, and not stereotyped nor categorized.

Put another way, how often have you felt misunderstood? This is a two-way street. The article below is interesting and addresses aspects along the lines of my comments here.

Healing the World by First Healing Ourselves

Jaqueline Lapa Sussman, MS, LPC

One day several years ago, I had a powerful experience in which I understood how a person can impact for the better simply by the power of their presence. I saw how one’s inner feeling states projects an energy that can profoundly impact those around them. I grasped the meaning of Ghandi’s words, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” If we want peace in our world, we must first be peaceful within ourselves and as we radiate our inner peace, others feel it and in response also become calm. If we wish for love, we must first embody the presence and fullness of love in our very own hearts and then this love can touch others. In this manner our sheer presence serves to affect and influence others. People who carry an aura of light and peaceful well being automatically lift the spirit of those around them and in doing so, create positive outcomes in any given situation. Others, who emit fear, paranoia, or hate, emit a dark energy that repels, instills fear, mistrust and discord.

Read the full article in TotalHealth magazine